


I'm Thinking It Out Loud

by Actual_Dunwich_Horror



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Freddie has lots of Feelings, Getting Together, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Tyson thinks he likes blondes, but he also like Big Boys, most of this is just fluff, some trade angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Actual_Dunwich_Horror/pseuds/Actual_Dunwich_Horror
Summary: Freddie tried to hang around Tyson as much as he could without being too obvious, even if it was just keeping an ear out in the locker room making sure that he was fitting in with the guys. He didn’t mind. He’d done it for some other ex-newbies too.The only problem was… Freddie started to become a little attached. Tyson drew him in so easily, with his soft eyes and his cute smile and his curls and his friendliness and--Maybe Freddie had a bit of a problem.
Relationships: Frederik Andersen/Tyson Barrie
Comments: 10
Kudos: 124
Collections: Hockey Holidays 2019





	I'm Thinking It Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dharma_club](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dharma_club/gifts).

> If you or someone you know is mentioned in this fic, please turn back! This is purely fictitious.
> 
> I had such a blast writing this fic! Who knew that these two could make such a cute pairing? Thanks to C for beta-ing this! Title is from Tokyo by Owl City.
> 
> dharma_club, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! I know I went a bit of a different direction with your prompt, but I hope you like it either way!

Freddie didn’t know too much about Tyson at first.

Sure, he did his research after learning that Tyson was traded to the team. That is, if browsing Tyson’s Instagram profile counts as doing research.

Freddie also texted Mitch about him; after all, they’ve played together before.

_ Guy’s a party animal. Probably a little loud for u but he’s hella friendly,  _ said Mitch.

Freddie bet that he’d like Tyson. He may be reserved, but most of his friends were pretty extroverted. 

Opposites attract, or something like that.

//

When Tyson first arrived in Toronto, Freddie was already back and he made sure to send him a text (Mo had given Freddie his number not long after the trade. He was always good about bonding with their new teammates) saying that he was down to show him and Alexander around and take them to lunch. It was the right thing to do, really. Freddie wanted to make sure the two of them felt welcome in Toronto.

_ Oh hey! I’m always down for free food but i think kerf’s gonna be chilling with mo for a bit. Just give me a time and a place and i’ll be there! _

Freddie had no idea what kind of food Tyson liked or what he liked to do, but he had a feeling Tyson would go along with just about anything that he planned.

He ended up meeting Tyson in a little sandwich shop, and Freddie instantly understood Mitch’s texts.

The moment Tyson saw Freddie, his face lit up, eyes crinkling at the corners. He was smaller than Freddie thought, and his unruly hair was even more wild in person.

“So, you must be the famous FredEx, eh?”

“The one and only,” Freddie replied with a smile.

Tyson pulled him in for a hug, insisting that Freddie should start getting used to having little to no personal space now that he was on the team.

Little did Tyson know, Freddie had been around Mitch and Willy long enough to throw his concept of personal space out the window.

They sat down and ate, and the whole time Freddie never knew that someone could be so… endearing, with their mouth full. Tyson didn’t stop talking, didn’t stop asking Freddie questions about the team. Freddie answered with enthusiasm.

Afterwards, they walked around the city, but there wasn’t all that much to see. Tyson had been there plenty of times before, but he had enjoyed Freddie’s company more than anything. He explained to Freddie that he was used to hanging around his old teammates all the time, how he never really went out and did much by himself.

“I can’t stand being alone, really,” Tyson had said as they turned a corner on the sidewalk. “That was one of my biggest fears about coming to Toronto. I know I’ve got Muzz and Mitch and Kerfy, and now you, but still. I’m just… kind of nervous, I guess.”

Tyson was uncharacteristically quiet, looking down at his feet as he walked. Freddie knew that expression all too well, and it pained him to see Tyson be that way.

“I understand that. It’s hard, moving teams, but I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for you,” Freddie said, glancing at Tyson, “but know that we’re here for you. You won’t be alone here. I’ll make sure of it.”

Freddie had wanted to say “ _ we’ll _ make sure of it”, but deep down, despite not knowing Tyson for too long, Freddie knew that he meant what he said.

“I appreciate that, Fred,” Tyson replied, smiling up at him. 

Freddie smiled back, but he noticed that Tyson’s demeanor as a whole seemed more… dim.

//

So, maybe Freddie felt a bit possessive over Tyson after their conversation.

He felt bad for Tyson. He really did. Getting traded always sucked, but Tyson had been with the Avs for a long, long while. Freddie hadn’t been with the Ducks for long before he was traded. Even after knowing Tyson for a short amount of time, Freddie was afraid of him spiraling downward in an attempt to try to fit in with the new team, what with trying to get used to a new team dynamic and all.

Freddie tried to hang around him as much as he could without being too obvious, even if it was just keeping an ear out in the locker room making sure that Tyson was fitting in with the guys. He didn’t mind. He’d done it for some other ex-newbies too. 

The only problem was… Freddie started to become a little attached. Tyson drew him in so easily, with his soft eyes and his cute smile and his curls and his friendliness and--

Maybe Freddie had a bit of a problem.

//

Tyson definitely wasn’t the straightest guy Freddie had met. It was the little things that made Freddie notice; getting a little too chatty with a cute waiter whenever some of the team went out for lunch, the way his gaze would linger as they’d pass handsome strangers, and of course, all the videos that the Avs had posted on social media.

It gave Freddie a bit of hope.

So of course he became comfortable enough to accidentally come out to Tyson.

It’s not like it was a big deal; Freddie was out to most of the team already. He just… didn’t expect it to slip out.

They were in the locker room after practice, Tyson was half dressed, standing by Freddie’s locker as he undid his leg pads, and they’d managed to get on the topic of bad dates.

“--And when I showed up to the restaurant, it was a totally different girl. Looked nothing like the pictures on her profile. And the food? Horrible. It was a nightmare,” Tyson laughed and raked a hand through his hair. “But yeah. That’s how I was catfished.”

“Oh man, that sucks,” Freddie said with a grin. “Talk about bad luck.”

“Yeah, what do you do, though.”

Tyson paused for a moment before speaking up again.

“What about you? Any good dates gone bad?”

Freddie unstrapped the last strap on his leg pad and slipped it off, then moved to work on the other one.

“Oh yeah. Went to a nice sushi place with this one guy only to have his ex be our waiter. He excused himself from the table at one point, took a little too long in the restroom, so I went to check on him only to find him and his ex making out in there. It was… an experience.” 

Freddie expected Tyson to laugh, to joke about it, to say  _ something _ , but he heard nothing but silence.

And that’s when it hit Freddie; he really, really hadn’t meant to come out to Tyson like that.

“Did I… say something wrong?” Freddie asked just loud enough for Tyson to hear. He really hoped that he hadn’t read things wrong.

“No!” Tyson practically yelled, causing Freddie to jump and a few of their teammates to look in their direction. “I mean, it’s totally cool. Dating guys. Because, uh. Me too,” Tyson continued, flushing red. “I’m bi, so. I get it.” His voice became quieter the more he talked, and something told Freddie that he was one of the few people on the Leafs that Tyson had come out to.

“Same here,” Freddie said, looking up from his pads and offering Tyson a small, yet bright smile.

He didn’t think Tyson could get more red, but somehow he did.

//

Tyson began to stick closer to Freddie after the coming out situation. At least, that’s what Freddie thought. He really hoped that it wasn’t just wishful thinking.

They began to hang out more and more consistently off the ice, and their texts became more frequent. It soon started to become torture for Freddie, because, well… he was  _ super  _ into Tyson now.

He got lost in those soft brown eyes that crinkled at the corners. His heart fluttered whenever Tyson’s face lit up in his signature bright grin, and Freddie always had to resist reaching out to run a hand through his unruly curls. Not to mention the fact that Tyson was easily one of the friendliest, brightest people that he’d ever met.

That is, until the season really got started.

The trade didn’t really set in for Tyson until about a month or so into the season, and it showed. His eyes became dull, smile a bit forced, and his passion for hockey just… wasn’t all the way there. He became quieter and quieter; he still talked to Freddie, Kerf, and some of the other guys, but he just wasn’t as optimistic as he was during the preseason. Freddie knew what was happening, and it was just as he’d feared--

Toronto was sucking the life out of Tyson.

The media was relentless towards him. After all, he’d just come off of a record-breaking season in Colorado, only to come to Toronto and hardly be able to earn points. Coach Babcock was hard on Tyson for the same reasons, and it made Freddie furious. He tried to get Tyson to be an entirely different player, and it didn’t  _ work _ .

The team as a whole made room for the new guys and tried to make them all feel like part of the team, but Tyson was used to a team that acted as a family. It hurt Freddie to admit, but… that wasn’t how things worked in Toronto.

It hurt worse and worse every day, all the way up until they went and played in Colorado, and--

Once they left Denver, it was like a dam breaking for Tyson.

Tyson became nonverbal the whole ride to Detroit, and once they’d arrived at their hotel, he’d immediately rushed right to his room without speaking to anyone.

It made Freddie’s heart ache, and he wanted to help. He wanted Tyson to smile again, to crack jokes. He just wanted Tyson to be alright.

Freddie found himself knocking on the door of Kerf’s room, who was surprised to see him there.

“Hey Fred, what’s up?” 

“Can I talk to you for a sec? It’s--”

“It’s about Tyson, isn’t it.” Kerf cut in, a knowing smile on his face. Freddie simply narrowed his eyebrows at him.

Kerf stepped aside, allowing Freddie to come in. “Look, you’re not exactly subtle. I see how you look at him. It’s… well,” Kerf sat down on his bed “It’s something I’m a bit familiar with.”

“It is?” Freddie asked, sitting down in the armchair.

“Yeah. It’s a long story though,” Kerf sighed, a soft, sad smile on his face. “Anyway. Tyson’s not doing too good after going back to Denver. I wouldn’t approach him about that kind of stuff right now.”

“I--that’s not--” Freddie huffed angrily and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to talk about that... Not yet. I just--I want to help. But I don’t know how.”

Kerf looked away from Freddie and hummed, thinking. “I’ll admit, Bear and I weren’t the closest back in Colorado, but… I think I have some ideas.”

//

Freddie ended up outside of Tyson’s room, playing Celine Dion on his portable speaker. He felt kind of stupid, and he really, really hadn’t expected it to work, but miraculously, it had gotten Tyson to open the door and peek outside.

“This better not be a joke. I’m not in the mood to hear anyone slander Celine,” he said, oddly serious.

“It’s not a joke,” Freddie quickly reassured him. “You like her music, right?”

“Well… yeah.” Tyson remained with his face looking through a tiny crack in the doorway, not moving.

Freddie had never been too good with words or feelings, but this in particular was… quite the challenge. It didn’t matter, though. This was about Tyson.

“I was wondering, did you want to watch a movie? Maybe order room service?”

Tyson seemed to consider the offer for a moment, before saying, “I get to choose the movie, though. And if you try to stop me from getting dessert, you’re getting kicked out.”

“Sounds fair to me,” Freddie replied with a shrug. Kerf was right about everything so far.

The next thing Freddie knew, the two of them were sitting side by side on Tyson’s bed watching  _ Titanic _ on Tyson’s laptop and sharing a plate of fries. Tyson ordered himself a slice of chocolate cake, which Freddie had stolen a bite or two from. The silence was surprisingly comfortable, and Tyson’s dreary mood seemed to have lifted considerably. Freddie wasn’t sure if it was the food or the fact that Freddie was there, but it didn’t matter.  _ Tyson  _ mattered.

They were about an hour into the movie when Tyson spoke up.

“So, who put you up to this?” He asked, not looking away from the screen. Freddie turned to look at him, a bit shocked.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m the new guy and I’m depressed. I’d be surprised if one of the captaincy didn’t send you here to try and make me feel better.” His tone seemed slightly bitter, and it caused Freddie’s chest to ache.

“Well, they didn’t. And, we don’t have to talk about anything that’s bothering you, okay? We can just chill and watch the movie. It’s up to you.”

Tyson closed his eyes and sighed through his nose, leaning his head back against the bed frame.

“I miss Colorado. I miss Denver. I miss the traffic and the mountains and the Pepsi Center. I miss Tyson Tuesdays and the dumb videos where I’d always embarass myself. I miss Colin and EJ and Josty and Grubi and Gabe, I miss--” Tyson moved to sit upright, hiccupping out a sob. “Fuck, I miss  _ Nate _ . My best fucking friend. I miss him, I miss it all, I just--I don’t know what to  _ do _ .”

Freddie’s heart  _ broke  _ as he listened to Tyson. He felt a little lost, a little unsure of what to do. He hadn’t expected this to happen, but this was Tyson. He was an emotional guy while Freddie wasn’t.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Freddie spoke softly, reaching out to lay a gentle hand on Tyson’s shoulder. “You’re allowed to miss it all. Trades fucking suck.”

“I don’t belong here,” Tyson sniffled, muffled from where he buried his face in his hands. “I feel like I don’t fit in, like I’m not a Leaf.”

“No one fits in at first. It can take a few days or it can take an entire season. Things are always changing, you know? Things will click.”

“What if I don’t  _ want _ things to click?”

Freddie paused, making sure to choose his words carefully here.

“Well… you don’t  _ have _ to want that.”

Tyson stayed quiet before slowly turning and gazing at Freddie with one watery eye.

“I don’t?”

“You don’t. At least,  _ I _ don’t think you have to. These are  _ your  _ feelings after all.”

Tyson continued to stare at Freddie, before suddenly pulling his hands from his face and forcing out a choked off laugh. “Can I hug you?”

Freddie’s mind practically blanked. Tyson’s never really  _ asked  _ if he could hug Freddie. He’s always just… done it. “I mean--yeah, sure?”

Tyson practically jumped onto Freddie, wrapping his arms around Freddie’s wide shoulders and burying his face there. 

“You’re a good friend,” Tyson mumbled. “I’m sorry I suddenly just… started crying.”

“It’s okay. It happens,” Freddie said, rubbing Tyson’s back.

“Yeah,” Tyson sighed, finally pulling away. “And, I think… I think I needed to hear all that. You’re pretty good with words, Fred.”

Freddie glanced at Tyson, who was smiling up at him, still a bit choked up. Freddie could feel his face go red. He just shrugged and smiled back at Tyson, happy that he could make Tyson feel better.

//

Freddie hadn’t  _ meant  _ to fall asleep in Tyson’s bed. It just sorta… happened. They’d continued watching  _ Titanic  _ and had fallen asleep. Tyson had seen it plenty of times, it had started to become a bit boring to Freddie, and it was  _ long.  _ So it definitely wasn’t Freddie’s fault, and Tyson hadn’t kicked him out.

It also wasn’t Freddie’s fault that he woke up with Tyson completely plastered to his side. It definitely did  _ not  _ bother Freddie; after all, he’d been pining after Tyson for a few months now, but it still made his heart ache because he doubted Tyson felt the same. He was just naturally clingy. 

Either way, Freddie let himself lie there a bit longer, Tyson’s face pillowed on his chest as he snored softly. Freddie had to resist reaching up and running a hand through Tyson’s curls.

He was just about to get up, starting to become a bit uncomfortable and close to overheating, when Tyson’s alarm started going off. Slowly, Tyson stirred, blinking groggily and staring up at Freddie with soft, dark eyes.

“You’re still here,” he said before yawning and propping himself up.

“I am, yeah,” Freddie sat up and stretched, his shirt riding up slightly. He couldn’t help but notice the way Tyson stared, just for a moment, before quickly glancing away.

Freddie got up and went to the bathroom, then sat down to put his shoes on.

“Fred,” Tyson said quietly from his spot on the bed.

“Yeah?” Freddie didn’t look up from his shoelaces.

“Did you--maybe we could, uh--”

Freddie looked up, his insides suddenly becoming a fluttering mess. Tyson sounded like he was about to ask--

“Do you wanna… maybe go get dinner together sometime?”

They went and got food together pretty often, but this sounded different. Tyson was never this nervous when it came to things that were food-related.

“Like… as a date?” Freddie asked, voice shaking slightly. He sat completely still, nervous yet hopeful. This was so incredibly sudden, it felt almost like Freddie’s heart had stopped beating.

“As a date, yeah,” Tyson said. “It’s cool if you’re not interested, I just--"

“I’m definitely interested, Tyson.” Freddie hoped the darkness of the room would hide the blush on his cheeks, but it definitely wasn’t hiding the smile that had appeared on his face. “I’d love that.”

“You--really?” Tyson said, face lighting up. “Oh man, I thought--I don’t know  _ what  _ I thought, but… I’m excited.”

“Me too, Bear.”

Maybe it took Freddie a few tries to tie his other his other shoe, but hey. It’s not Freddie’s fault that his hands were shaking.

//

It was a few days before they were back at home, which meant that Freddie had time to prepare for their date. He still got to see Tyson every day, of course, but it really only made him more excited, especially because Tyson was acting more affectionate around him. Freddie was going to take that as a good sign.

And, Freddie returned the affection, much to the surprise of their teammates.

Whether it was hugging Tyson a moment longer than usual, calling him  _ Bear _ , or even just making eye contact with him across the room and watching the blush rise on his cheeks, someone on the team happened to notice each and every time. They never said anything bad, though. Just joked about how Freddie was gaining a soft spot.

Freddie knew they were right. Tyson was able to get him to open up a bit more than usual. He wasn’t as loud as some of their other teammates, sure, but he still could have fun in the room and it was infectious for Freddie.

It was honestly a breath of fresh air, having Tyson there with him. Freddie knew that Toronto wasn’t the kindest team to be on, and it had taken some adjustment, but he was glad that he could be there to help Tyson work through everything, and in turn, Tyson brought the life out in Freddie.

Which is honestly why the days leading up to their date were some of the best days Freddie had had in awhile.

Tyson had gotten a goal against the Red Wings, and Freddie shut them out. They were riding high on the win, until Freddie had to go and watch their backup lose to the Sabres. He’d gotten a bit disheartened, especially after watching Tyson slump in his seat on the flight home, but soon they were back on home ice and taking their revenge, in  _ overtime  _ nevertheless.

The win at home felt electric as usual, and even though it went to OT, Freddie was  _ relieved _ . Once he was in the locker room, Tyson threw his arms around Freddie’s huge pads, shouting excitedly into his ear. Freddie didn’t mind though, he just slung his glove hand around Tyson’s waist and held him close, relishing the moment.

Soon,  _ too  _ soon, Tyson was pulling away slightly and looking up at Freddie with stars in his eyes. He didn’t say anything; just stared up at Freddie like he wanted something, wanted  _ more _ , and Freddie couldn’t hold back any longer; he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Tyson’s lips, right there in the middle of the locker room. At this point, Freddie didn’t care who saw, didn’t care about what anyone thought. He just needed to kiss Tyson, to be close to him.

Tyson froze up for a moment, and Freddie desperately hoped he hadn’t read the situation wrong, but eventually Tyson relaxed and Freddie heard a clatter--Tyson dropped his stick--and reached up to place a gloved hand on Freddie’s shoulder as he leaned into the kiss.

They pulled apart once they heard a few catcalls from around the room, but no one seemed angry. Most of the team was oblivious to what had just happened, but those who had noticed were mumbling things like “about time” and chirping them for not even waiting to get out of their gear. It was honestly a bit endearing and Freddie wouldn’t have expected anything less from his more nosey teammates.

“Oh my god, we totally just kissed before our first date, didn’t we,” Tyson said. His face had gone completely red, and Freddie couldn’t help but smile.

“At least it wasn’t a bad kiss?”

“Yeah right, your pads were in the way!” Tyson protested, shoving at Freddie. This only encouraged him to wrap both arms around Tyson and tug him closer, even if that meant basically squishing him into his big chest protector.

“That didn’t seem to stop you from kissing back,” Freddie teased, trying not to laugh. He was failing horribly.

“Oh shut up. Let me go so that you can get out of your pads and I can see you in all your fancy rich Danish glory.” Tyson made no move to try and get out of Freddie’s grasp, but Freddie pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and let him go anyway.

“Have you seen my hair after games? It’s a mess.”

“I don’t care. It’s cute,” Tyson shrugged as he sat in his stall beginning to undress. And, well, Freddie could live with being called cute.

//

Their date was the very next day, and Freddie was far more nervous than he should’ve been. It wasn’t often that he got nervous when doing stuff like this, especially because this was  _ Tyson  _ he was going to be around, but still. He wanted to impress Tyson, even if that wasn’t too hard to do.

Freddie ended up going for a nice, yet casual look, and upon arriving at the restaurant, Tyson had (thankfully) gone the same route. He looked good, wearing some slacks and a nice polo, and Freddie couldn’t help but look him up and down. Tyson noticed and immediately flushed red, as Freddie had hoped he would. He had discovered that he loved watching Tyson get flustered. 

The place Tyson chose was a nice steakhouse that felt high-end without being too stuffy, and Freddie thought it was perfect. Tyson had arranged to have a table in the corner of the restaurant where they’d be around the least amount of people as possible; after all, in Toronto, Tyson didn’t have the anonymity that he had in Denver.

The mood started off a little awkward and stilted; they both were nervous, Freddie could tell, but it didn’t take long for them to fall into their typical chatter.

“I’m gonna be real with you Fred,” Tyson said, swirling his glass of wine. “I had a feeling I was gonna have a thing for someone on the team, but like, I genuinely didn’t think it would be you.”

Freddie raised an eyebrow at him and grinned. “Oh?”

“Oh god, that sounds bad,” Tyson dragged a hand down his face and set down his wine glass. “I mean… I’ve--I’ve always had a thing for blondes? So I guess I expected to develop a huge crush on like, Willy, or maybe Mo or someone like that. I was basically  _ waiting  _ for it to happen when suddenly my brain was like ‘oh shit, Tyson really thought he was into blondes, huh? Well surprise, here’s some feelings for this giant Dane who looks like he could be royalty.’”

Freddie leaned back in his seat and laughed along with Tyson, who was staring at the tablecloth and looking a whole different shade of red. Freddie had a feeling that it wasn’t just because of the wine.

But, upon thinking about it, he was honestly in a similar boat to Tyson. He had no clue he’d fall for someone as charismatic (and loud) as Tyson. Freddie was usually into people who were a bit quieter and a lot less snarky, but that’s what Freddie liked about Tyson. He could get Freddie outside of his shell, outside of his comfort zone, and it was like experiencing something new every time he was with Tyson.

“Well, I’m glad it was me. Mo’s cute, but I don’t think you could handle Willy,” Freddie laughed.

“Oh god, yeah, no thanks. At least you’re not a handful.”   


“Not yet, anyway.” Freddie shot him a wink.

“So um,” Tyson looked down, poking at the remnants of his food. “I’m guessing that a second date isn’t out of the question…?”

“Definitely not out of the question,” Freddie replied. “I know of a pretty good ice cream shop if you’d be interested?”

Tyson’s face immediately lit up. Freddie was  _ definitely  _ going to thank Kerf for giving him that idea. 

“Yeah, yes, absolutely. Ice cream is amazing, but ice cream dates are like… top tier.”

“It’s a date, then.”

Freddie had offered to pay but Tyson insisted since he was the one who had chosen the place. Freddie offered to take Tyson home at least since apparently Tyson had walked, and the two of them ended up walking side by side to Tyson’s apartment, their hands brushing occasionally. Freddie wished with his entire being that he could’ve just… reached out and intertwined their fingers. Maybe someday.

Once they were in the hallway outside of Tyson’s apartment, Tyson stopped and turned to Freddie, staring up at him with soft, wide eyes.

“That was--I had a great time,” said Tyson. “I’m excited for our next date.”

“Same here.” Freddie felt a bit bold and no one was around, so he reached out and took Tyson’s hand into his own. Tyson smiled and squeezed his hand in response.

“Now, I don’t usually put out on the first date, but uh… do you wanna come inside?”

Freddie thought this day couldn’t get any better, but in this case, he loved being proven wrong.

“I’d love to, Tys.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
